Well, it's LOUD

United Press Corporation
(Obligatory Editorial [due to Federal Law] Columnist Employment Division)

by Loudwell Callcutta*

   * "special" freelance hire to United Press Corporation - an unfortunate result of 
      Federally mandated compliance with the Equal Employment to Retards Act of 1973

MMMMAHhhhhhaaaa   bllllllllahhhhhhhahaahvvvvvvvvvvv...

Drrrrrrrrr.  nnnnnallllahamannn      gfllaggggghhhhh.  blaca blacA!

Itssss  ssaaa ve  mannn   Dadaddy.  Killll de man ded.  
Ittssa  biggg un.  Mee likem donuts.  Yum yum.




Longo Muncheeee..  WeEeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blunk blunk.  SamboviHHH!!!  Yarno yarn.   Emmmmm blibbo!

Happpppy happppy smille Loudy.  HAPAPPAPAY Balcko blok.


Schlegno?  Shlegno?  Shlllllllllego?  MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmM!!!!!!!

Lacka lack HEYYYY!!!!!!!!



United Press Corporation wishes to formally apologize to our readers for the previous "opinion column". It is not to be taken literally, figuratively, or any other way. Reporting by "retards" is an unfortunate requirement in this day and age. Please understand that we in no way feel that you, our reader should have to "wade through" this dribble in hopes of finding the "real story". A followup article will appear shortly to confirm and deny any and all topics mentioned in young Loudwell's previous semi-lucid missive.

BACK [BACK]                       [NEXT] NEXT

Take me back to The Zarsisipan Files or Nurmix Web Central right now!

HTML coded by Paul Nurminen copyright ©1999-2002
 Last updated October 26, 2003

- This FILE was written by Paul Nurminen -